- Finding a Mate
- Moshe Ben-Chaim
- Question: I have been davening for someone and he has davened
for me for over a year and neither of us have been close to meeting
our chosen. I have also been reading Tehillim.
- Why? I thought 'H really wants the right people to be together.
- Response: I read in the rishonim that YOUR prayer is the most
important one. You should therefore daven for yourself. I also learned
from a Rabbi that when one davens, one should present their prayer as
a rational need-stating exactly what they need, and how they will
benefit from G-d fulfilling such a need. And one may even demand that
G-d satisfy that need.
- You must take rational actions as well, meaning, get in touch with
many people, attend functions, and the like. It will not just appear.
Jacob took all measures necessary when Esav was approaching to kill
him. He didn't just daven, but he prepared for war, and prepared a
bribe. This way, Yaakov covered all fronts, military, psychological,
and through G-d.
- Most essential is that one has the right notion of G-d. Otherwise,
one is praying to nothingness. It is essential that your concept of
Hashem omits any notion that He partakes of any physical
characteristic, He has no eyes, ears, hands, no body, no psyche, no
laughter,....in short, anything human can safely be negatived in
reference to G-d. If we have correct ideas of Him, we raise our level,
and are more worthy of His involvement in our lives. This is a
statement from Maimonides, and he relies on King David's words to
- G-d is not physical, has no human features, does not occupy any
space, is not "in heaven" or "on Earth".
G-d is perfect, He has always existed and always will. He is just,
fair, and follows exact "rules" of what is right, as He
outlined in the Torah. It is of most import that you understand and
KNOW this, not just read it and accept. Knowledge is far different
than actually committing to yourself what you hold as true. When
something is 100% clear, then you follow through in action. This is
how clear this idea must be to you.
- Then pray to this G-d, the Creator of heaven and earth, and I hope
he sees a husband as that which you need, and deserve, as He has
placed you here with this need. It is only right that he provides for
His creatures. Sarah desired a son, but it was withheld until she was
90. We don't always understand why G-d does what He does, but it must
- Look into your ways as well, as the talmud teaches that bad tidings
come upon a person at times, as a means of teaching the person a
lesson. Be introspective and see if there are any areas which you must
do tshuva for.
- May Hashem give you what is best.